I've often said that I would trade places with Livia if that meant I could save her life. I wonder though, if that really is a good trade. The one "blessing" that comes with Sanfilippo, is that there is no earthly hurt. No broken hearts. No worries. Livia knows nothing but happiness and joy. She is happy and loving. She loves people and is happy to just be in the presence of others. Anyone.
I experienced a broken heart tonight. For both of my children. My heart is very vulnerable, everyday. As each day passes, I feel like a little piece of my heart chips away. Time is not on our side. So, when my heart breaks because of something else, it upsets me. I dropped my girls off at the drop-in before I had to teach a class. The room was not busy, maybe only 5 other children. Both girls ran right in, happy to be there. Livia ran over towards a couple little boys and picked up a toy. One boy, probably Livia's age held the other boy back and said; "watch out for that girl (pointing) she's really weird." Livia, of course, went on playing, no idea what those words meant. As I'm hanging up their bags, I then hear another little girl, maybe 7, ask Finley; "why is your sister like that?" I watched quietly, feeling numb and feeling the tears well in my eyes. Finley completely ignored the girl and just started playing. I left the room in tears. Completely innocent, maybe a little wrong on the boys behalf, but hurtful, nonetheless. I understand and get that Livia is different. I want situations like this to present a learning opportunity. I was heartbroken to hear someone ask Finley that question. Finley knows nothing other than Livia is her sister. I'm not ready to tell her everything. However, after I read PINK! (a story about friendship and acceptance), I took the opportunity to ask Finley a few questions about Livia. Just to see where she stands with understanding Livia and if she notices her differences. She doesn't. She only knows Livia as she is. I then told her how every single person in the whole entire world is different. Not one person is the same. God made all of us in a special way and we must embrace, love, respect, and be ok with people's differences. I kept it at a 3 year old's conversation level.
Proverbs 31:8 "Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves"
I'm speaking up for those in need. I'm praying and asking all of you; teach compassion to your children and friends. Teach them to love others. We can all learn something from each other. Everyone on this earth has something to offer. My daughter's have taught me so much in their short lives. They've made me want to love more. I feel a duty to spread this message of compassion. We can all do a little to make a big difference.
So many people are touched and changed through Livia, through you, leaving a legacy greater than the lives of hundreds of old men. It's more important than being here for one blink or two. It's a big deal.
ReplyDeleteLivia does make a difference! I know your heart was broken when you heard those other kids talking, but they are still little and innocent too. Hopefully they went home and asked their Mother why "that girl acts different" and hopefully that Mother took the opportunity to teach her child awareness and respect. April has a girl with downs syndrome in her girl scout troop and all the girls just love her, give her extra help, and make her feel welcome. Having April know this girl has prompted SO many wonderful conversations between us about people with disabilities.
ReplyDeleteI think this is such a universal concern for mothers. My heart broke right along with yours when I read this. I am hugely concerned with how my children treat others, and how they are treated in kind. Like the previous comment said, my daughter has come to me to ask why a certain person might look or sound different, and I know that is a golden opportunity for me. I also try to be aware when we see other children behaving disrespectfully, point it out, and ask my kids what a better response or behavior might have been. Your post is a great reminder to all parents. Livia is a very obvious blessing in your life, not only for the joy she must bring you, but it seems you have because a better parent for it.
ReplyDeleteI have tried my best to teach our children that we all have differences and that we all want to be loved and treated equally. With that being said, the other morning, as we pulled up to the curb before school, Lauren noticed a boy walking up the sidewalk. It appeared he has recently had chemo treatments. He was very cute and bald. I was surprised at Lauren's reaction when she said "ewe--look at him, he is bald." I immediately told her that in his short life, he has gone thru far worse than we had and that he was the little boy that really needed her to be nice to. He needs us to treat him just like everyone else. He has feelings just like we do. I also explained that he has probably been very SICK and is well enough to be at school and we should be so very happy for him. As she closed the door to walk into school, I drove off feeling like I have failed as a parent however I know I have talked at length about people and their differences--I think as humans we automatically judge before THINKING of what that other person has gone thru and even harder for younger kids to think before speaking. One can only hope that someone enlightened those children on how to treat others and when it is appropriate to say something. I do know that my daughter would never say what she said to me, to that boy..so I do feel good about that...Teaching compassion for others is a must...hugs to you my friend and thank you for this post. xoxo
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