Sunday, August 29, 2010
"Kelly, this is just a season in your life." I seem to be telling myself this a lot lately. The stress of having a 3 1/2 year old and a 15 month old is hard enough. Molars are coming in, Livia is getting taller or maybe the counters are getting shorter, the terrible 2's are already starting, bills are piling up, cars need fixed, the dryer broke yesterday, dr's appointments are more frequent, and temper tantrums are happening everywhere I go. Add to that the underlying worry of Livia's situation. I can't just make it go away. I worry about Jake and his job. He has so much stress during the year. I hate to hear him cry and hear how sad he is about Livia. It breaks my heart. Times like this I crave my family. This is so hard to go through being so far away. Everyone has stress and I feel guilty even writing about this. At times, it feels impossible. How do people survive these times? I pray about it and I do keep my faith. However, worldly factors sometimes get in the way. I wouldn't trade my life for anything. All of this "stuff" aside. I get to love and experience my kids. Being a mom and dad is so hard, but it's a blessing. "It's better to have loved............." I repeat this to myself almost daily, but I don't say the entire quote. I tell myself this because in the end I want to know that all my effort was put into loving my girls. Ultimately, nothing else matters. Yes, we have to take care of our responsibilities and do what is right. But in the end I want to look back and be happy; not mad, stressed, full of what-if's. This season in my life is a hard one. I have to just recognize that and try to make the best of it. Tomorrow is a new day, however, today is not over and there are still lots of minutes left to make it a good one.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
When we got Liv's diagnosis a year ago in July, that month was spent crying, celebrating the new baby, and learning everything possible about Sanfilippo. I spent most of the month in the house, wanting to hide. We were home to Central Il the beginning of the month, but the majority of the time was spent in devastation. I can remember one of the first ventures out of the house. It was a trip to Target with just Livia and myself. It was in the beginning to middle part of August when all of the back to school "stuff" was out. I remember watching all of the parents with their children shopping for all of their new school supplies with lists in hand. A particular mother and daughter caught my eye. The little girl was so excited looking at all the backpacks. I can remember watching her with tears in my eyes thinking I'm never going to experience this with Livia, and maybe not Finley. (At that time we didn't know the results of Finley's test). I wanted so badly to have this experience with Livia. I wanted to hear her excitement, hear her voice. I wanted her to tell me her excitement about school. At that time I thought life as I knew it was over. I was so heartbroken over a simple situation such as back to school shopping. Well, this weekend I'm going to get to enjoy something I never thought I'd get to experience with Liv. We are going back to school shopping. We are so blessed to live in a great school district. Livia is going to receive speech therapy, OT and PT right at the school. This is HUGE for her. For a school to house all of these therapies and therapist is such a blessing. I really feel God directed us here for a reason. When we talk to Livia about school she gets so excited. She starts talking (in Livi's talk) about teacher's, the bus, friends, and a BACKPACK! I'm so excited, and nervous, for her. This is going to be a big adjustment for all of us, but a good one. I'll post first day of school pics when that day arrives.