The minutes matter

The week of May 21st was a turning point week for me.  Yes, it's July 4th and I'm blogging about May.  This blog has been on my mind since that week, but I haven't been able to shape it until now.  That week was a turning point in my life with Livia.  I'm curious how many turning points one can have in a life time.  I'm thinking I will have many.  Anyway, this week was our third visit to the University of Mn for the Natural History Study.  I prepared for this trip like the two before.  Itinerary's prepared, luggage packed, a little fun planned and my mom in tow this time.  The only difference this time were some questions that I knew I needed to ask, but had been avoiding during the past visits.  This time I had to buck up and face the music.  I didn't know if I'd have another chance.  I mentally had to prepare myself because in my heart I knew what I was going to hear, and it was going to be hard to hear it out loud.  Getting to MN, we spent the first day at the Mall of America.  Once again, Livia LOVED the rides.  I wish I could bottle up her excitement and giggles and share it with everyone I come into contact with.  Pure joy!  The next day, Tuesday, was the meeting with Dr. Whitley that I had been preparing for.  I would love to go into complete detail about this meeting, but I think I would lose most of you reading this, and I really don't want to do that.  So, in short, I asked the difficult questions and indeed received the difficult answers.  I had prepared myself, but the tears ran anyway.  This turning point of days changed my outlook once again with Livia, a cure, and what really matters.  Before I go on, I want to express that in no way has my hope for my child decreased, it's only changed a bit.  I've learned a new way of LIVing, once again.  The anniversary of Livia's diagnosis is two days away.  I look back on these three years and I can't believe how much I've learned about myself, my kids and my family.  And now, with ONE more turning point day, another change has occurred.  It's now that the minutes matter.  This may seem obscure, but not to me.  Every single moment is an opportunity for a memory, a quiet hug, to hear a laugh or a word, to see her running and playing.  I'm not going to let any of these pass me by.  I'm in a new state of awareness, 24/7 and I'm not going to miss a thing.  I'm sharing this with you because it's really a great state to be in.  Having this frame of mind means; less stress, more fun and creating quality moments that really really matter.  The chaos of our life, to me, is perfect.  

As I sit in this quiet cabin on 2400 E, the familiar 4th of July visit is upon us.  This visit always sparks emotions in me both pleasant and not.  It's become an annual tradition that Jake and I pack up the girls and dogs and come "home."  This time of year is so much fun with all the events going on, but it stirs up the time that the pit in my stomach took up permanent residence.  Being around family and friends with our girls is so important to us.  We want our family to have the opportunity to create memories and have that quality time.  We need to do life together.  We also need to put the little stresses aside so that those moments don't pass us by.  Enjoy the minutes and fill your days with love and fun.  Happy 4th of July and may you be blessed and be able to recognize your blessings!