Tuesday, December 1, 2009

My drive

There are times that I hear what other people are going through or just in socializing, I hear about things other people's children are doing. I'm not going to lie, after Pilate's class today I went into the locker room and cried. When class was over and I was talking with the instructor she started talking about her daughter and potty training. Another lady joined in the conversation and I just had to excuse myself because I realized this is one of the first things I'm not going to experience with Livia. I can remember not long ago sitting at a restaurant and a waiter started talking to Livia and she didn't really respond to him. He said to us, "don't worry when she's in college she'll never shut up." I've never had my heart sink so deep as these couple moments. I don't write these things to deter people from sharing their moments with their children. I don't want to push anyone away. I have such high hope that something is going to come along in Livia's life. This is my drive. I may experience these heart wrenching moments at times, but when I'm with Livia and Finley the rest of the world disappears and those girls light up my life. I can be so sad and down and just being in the presence of her makes everything better. I know what love is. I know how important it is to cherish moments and not sweat the small stuff.

2 comments:

  1. Your family and friends love and support you. We're here for you in any way each of us can be. When I read your posts I find that you are lifting me up when it really should be the other way around. You are amazing. Have you ever thought of publishing your journal of your journey as I call it? So many other would benefit. Love,

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  2. Kelly, I've thought about you so much over the holidays. I was so happy to see you updated your blog. It has been such a blessing to me. I'll see you and the girls at the gym :O)

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