It has been so refreshing to wake up with the sun beaming in. It makes the house feel so good and it makes my attitude that much better. Livia and I were able to spend about 3 hours outside together. Finley joined in when she got up from her nap. It was so great to watch Livia play on her swing set and run around the yard. We went on a walk when Finley woke up and stopped at a couple neighbor's houses and the kids played together. I love watching Livia interact with other children. She thrives around her friends. The fresh air and the sunshine felt so good. I think I even got a little color on my cheeks. Livia was so tired at bedtime. So was mommy! I'm really looking forward to the summer when Jake can join us for this fun. Yesterday was a really BEAUTIFUL day with my two BEAUTIFUL girls!
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Friday, March 12, 2010
Quiet
The house is quiet, both girls are sound asleep. All I hear is breathing through the monitors, and Lola snoring. This is a hard time for me. This is when my mind wonders and my thoughts consume me. It's one of those moments where I think to myself, a time like this before Liv's diagnosis I would be like............yes! Peace and quiet for mama! Not that I don't need my own space and time, but I'd much rather have someone up with me right now. I'd rather be listening to a baby cry or changing a diaper or playing than having these awful thoughts. My girls help me get through these tough times. Livia's laughs and babbles are music to my ears. Finley's response to me and the games we play are so precious. Lately Livia has been coming up to me when I'm doing another task, like washing the dishes, and pulling my body around and tugging on my clothes saying "come on mama." Or, if she is having fun doing something on her own she'll just motion me with her hands to "come on"! I absolutely love this. I love that she wants to play pilates with me. It's a modified version of airplane. Finley's personality is shining. She recognizes when she makes me laugh, and then ham's it up even more. Her 4 front teeth show now when she smiles. I love to tickle her tummy. Why does life have to be so unfair? I have these precious wonderful gifts, but in the background is this ugly and difficult thing. I try so hard to push it aside, to be strong. This is a good time in our life, and in some ways I think I might be in a little bit of denial about the whole thing. It's better when I can take it one day at a time and not think about tomorrow, but some days, like now, I have a hard time controlling my mind.
"CRY".................thank goodness!
"CRY".................thank goodness!
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Awareness
This is such a critical time, and awareness is what we need! There is hope for a cure or a treatment on the horizon. As a family, we have so many ideas and with our new website we will be able to promote awareness and fundraise. This was on TV not long ago and it's a great way to spread the word. Please join us in the fight to save Liv's life. Check out the link's below to see what some other people are doing to raise awareness and fight for their own children's lives as well as all children affected with this unfair, nasty disorder. Please feel free to contribute your ideas to spreading awareness or good fundraising ideas. kelfish121880@hotmail.com
www.couragemovie.com
http://abcnews.go.com/Health/video/graces-story-10012107&tab=9482931§ion=1206835&playlist=3547557&page=1
www.couragemovie.com
http://abcnews.go.com/Health/video/graces-story-10012107&tab=9482931§ion=1206835&playlist=3547557&page=1
Friday, March 5, 2010
Perspective
The ability to perceive things in their actual interrelations or comparative importance. This is one definition of the word perspective that I'm keeping in mind.
We all have things in our lives that we struggle with. Whether it be our weight, finances, dedications, friendships, relationships, addictions or even our day to day tasks. Something in your life is a struggle. I've had a few issues that I've been struggling with lately, and one of them is something that has been on my mind almost daily since Liv's diagnosis. It's a friendship that I am missing terribly, but I feel like I shouldn't be the one to come forward. I have to come clean about something, and most of you who know me might already know this. I am a stubborn person. I have a hard time admitting when I'm wrong or backing down from a thought that I think is right. In a way I'm glad I'm like this because it makes me a strong person. However, it can bite me if I'm not careful. This past weekend, I was given a perspective on this situation by someone that I respect their opinion and loved what they had to say to me. I was given another perspective just yesterday during a play date by another friend that I am just getting to know. Both of these women had really good things to say, and I learned a lot during both of these situations. The weekend perspective was that I need to be the bigger person and make the first step to rekindling my missed friendship. I don't know how my missed friend is feeling or what the situation was in her life to make her make the choices she made regarding our friendship. In the end, if I really miss my friend and cherish our relationship then I need to tell her. The second perspective that I learned jut yesterday was that people don't deserve to be judged. Someone might seem unapproachable but turn out to be just the type of person you need in your life. It's like how the old saying goes, "don't judge a book by it's cover." It's simple but true. You never know what someone is going through in their life to make them they way they are.
I try to put myself in other people's shoes regarding our situation. I probably wouldn't know what to say or know the best way to ask someone about their daughter's terminal disorder. It's a very scary thing. However, I'm still the same Kelly Fish Hubert that I was in kindergarten, and I do miss my friend. I'm working on that stubborn person inside of me and figuring out how to make the first step. I think this might be a baby step, but it's not really a fair one because I don't know if she even reads this. I know I should just pick up the phone and call, but that seems too hard. Maybe a letter or email will be what I do. Either way, I need to do it. Kristy, you are my sister in Christ and I love you and Brian for who you are and the good things you are doing in your life. Thank you for the advice, I do respect what you have to say.
For Brittany
We all have things in our lives that we struggle with. Whether it be our weight, finances, dedications, friendships, relationships, addictions or even our day to day tasks. Something in your life is a struggle. I've had a few issues that I've been struggling with lately, and one of them is something that has been on my mind almost daily since Liv's diagnosis. It's a friendship that I am missing terribly, but I feel like I shouldn't be the one to come forward. I have to come clean about something, and most of you who know me might already know this. I am a stubborn person. I have a hard time admitting when I'm wrong or backing down from a thought that I think is right. In a way I'm glad I'm like this because it makes me a strong person. However, it can bite me if I'm not careful. This past weekend, I was given a perspective on this situation by someone that I respect their opinion and loved what they had to say to me. I was given another perspective just yesterday during a play date by another friend that I am just getting to know. Both of these women had really good things to say, and I learned a lot during both of these situations. The weekend perspective was that I need to be the bigger person and make the first step to rekindling my missed friendship. I don't know how my missed friend is feeling or what the situation was in her life to make her make the choices she made regarding our friendship. In the end, if I really miss my friend and cherish our relationship then I need to tell her. The second perspective that I learned jut yesterday was that people don't deserve to be judged. Someone might seem unapproachable but turn out to be just the type of person you need in your life. It's like how the old saying goes, "don't judge a book by it's cover." It's simple but true. You never know what someone is going through in their life to make them they way they are.
I try to put myself in other people's shoes regarding our situation. I probably wouldn't know what to say or know the best way to ask someone about their daughter's terminal disorder. It's a very scary thing. However, I'm still the same Kelly Fish Hubert that I was in kindergarten, and I do miss my friend. I'm working on that stubborn person inside of me and figuring out how to make the first step. I think this might be a baby step, but it's not really a fair one because I don't know if she even reads this. I know I should just pick up the phone and call, but that seems too hard. Maybe a letter or email will be what I do. Either way, I need to do it. Kristy, you are my sister in Christ and I love you and Brian for who you are and the good things you are doing in your life. Thank you for the advice, I do respect what you have to say.
For Brittany
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